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Are aforementioned characteristics of my Z. If so, we certainly need more people of this ilk on our planet! I lived abroad quite a lot, adore Croatia, but what did I adore if I disliked the small talk? I just loved your post.
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Thanks for sharing as well. What small talk does for you might be the same worldwide, but how small talk is done varies a great deal. So I must have done something right. Your blog helped me relax about the topic.
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Loved this! I started reading about Croatia, history and all, after my Dad died at the age of ! People asked me questions, strangers introduced me to more chats — all of them smiling and interested in what life was like where I came from. Why did I feel out of place at Croatian social events? Your article just summed up the way my father talked about everything!
I appreciate your insights and sense croatian humor. Nothing in Croatia works because of the people who run it. From the first interaction I had at my University I felt a sudden change. I have been married to my Cro for almost 13 years and never understood why he cannot answer to my questions directly.
Once the guest leaves…I keep complaining how rude he is for being ignorant. I write my own blog about my life in Istria. Many tourists feel sad for not being able to make friends in Zagreb. For a while I got to interact with people from Croatia. I should have provided coffee though! As a foreign traveller in Croatia, you probably want to connect with local people.
Thanks so much for you comment, Zrinka. Did we solve the problems of the world? Just be a careful listener, nod and offer similar complaints from your own life. Think of small talk as a story. This is so funny to read.
Instead, you should feel happy for being offered a way in. Thank you Andrea. Required fields are marked. It is surprising how difficult it is for the chats to find their way around well-established customs. I earned invites. To this date I ended up in an argument since he goes in circles before the answer.
Mingling with people at croatian events used to make my palms sweat. You assume your storyteller is talking about their worst enemy. I arrived here via Frank About Croatia. But just like in literature, everyday conversations have trends that change over time.
I wish I would have read earlier in life. Excellent blog! It seems that many Croatian people could relate to the post. Thank you! When I first talked with Z. Now, how could I Help but fall head over heels? Croats gossip most about the people they care about.
And that to really become part of a place, I should learn the ropes of small talk. I hope I continue inspiring your tours in Zagreb! It reflects their cultural values, it reproduces their social norms and it gives their participants a sense of shared reality. Looking forward to reading more. Even now he forgets to introduce me to people and since I live in Australia, in most cases I introduce my self and chat chatting.
Dearest Andrea, Hvala and Tak for your insightful posts! This means that your storyteller will enjoy answering your questions about their country, family or work. When you hear your new Croatian friend complain, offering practical help might confuse them or send them into a defence mode. Croatian small talk is an answer-lead storytelling. Complaining mood is a culturally specific mode of expression — not a call for action. Small talk is THE most important element of social life.
The excuses are countless and can be croatian imaginative. Your piece is delightful! In fact, they might go over the same old stuff for the hundredth of time.
Literary studies show that some cultures feel more comfortable identifying with winners and some with victims. Maybe you could share this on your blog? Then I moved to London.
Or people they envy most. Most amazing to me is his gentleness, wicked-good sense of humor and forgiving nature to all walks of humanity, despite rigors of war that he lost his best friend to. You stop belonging then. I would have understood more and not taken so many things to heart!
You really get to the point. I met my Croatian love Z. We just celebrated our 1st-year anniversary of our first meeting. Reading your insights about Croat small talk and Croatian friends, I really blew a great opportunity. Hi Isabel, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. They probably will. Now I know where I am going wrong!
Let your local storyteller speak first. I probably seemed so rude to them. They just small talk in a different way.
Being a local tour guide in Zagreb I thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories. Hi Gugi, thanks a lot for your comment. Funny, refreshing, informative and so true. So all the natural beauty will either go undiscovered or get ruined. I thoroughly enjoyed this! What the storyteller wants is to remain in the victim role. Maybe the geographical proximity to Vienna makes the two cultures quite similar. We need these ways of understanding each other, of cultural translation. But we had a common bond to whinge about.
Croats will sit for hours in a coffee shop and talk about different things with no chat conclusion. A hero is not always a brave winner nor is a villain always a jerk. Great talents and educated minds will leave Croatia and find prosperity abroad. Croatian small talk abounds with heroes who are victimised in more than one way. Not until I experienced small talk in London. Nowadays, Croats are concerned either about croatian personal chats, leisure activities travel, food, sports or global economic and political events.
If you lasted hours over coffee, or sailed through a party without being left in the corner — congratulations! Will they gossip about me in the same way, you wonder. I blew it! I have had croatian same experience and often struggle to explain to non Croatians, as this small talk is often taken literally and misinterpreted.
It goes like this:. Thanks for sharing your story with me. Who sleeps with whom jerk!
This social skill is not universally taught.